HOW TO SHARE YOUR PREGNANCY
and asking for help, too.
You’re Not Alone
An ultrasound has confirmed it – you’re pregnant.
You probably have a lot of questions about what to do next, including how to know what is the best way, and the best time, to share this important news. You may feel some excitement mixed with fear about how to do it, and we’re here to help point you in the right direction.
You never have to feel alone in any part of your pregnancy, including sharing it with others. We’ve collected some talking points to help you through the conversation with everyone, from your family to the father. It’s important to think about all your pregnancy and birth options and know what support is available, including that from your family and friends. The more informed you can be about your pregnancy decision, the easier the conversations can be.
Most importantly we want you to know that there’s always someone who supports your decision to have this baby, even if your family or friends won’t.
Pregnancy Resource Center Care
Sharing your pregnancy news is something your local Pregnancy Resource Center can help you with, too! Below you’ll find suggestive ideas and points to help you get started but know these are just a start – Pregnancy Resource Centers are available to help you talk through it before you even say “I need to talk to you.”
When and How to Share
Before you put something up on social media, consider talking with your family first. Depending on your relationship with your family and the father, sharing your pregnancy news with them may be the best kind of support you can find. And don’t necessarily go off their first reaction – give them time to think over the information you’ve just given them.
If you have become pregnant from a boyfriend, you should do your best to tell him the news, too. It’s important for him and the preborn baby that he is aware of this new life being formed. He may surprise you with his reaction, but either way, it’s important to let him know. Make sure to talk about how involved he wants to be in the decisions – if he has questions, we‘re here to help him, too. A good place to start is our Your Viewpoint Matters page. Its specific purpose is for soon-to-be-fathers to get the information they need but can also be for soon-to-be-grandfathers or uncles.
Miscarriages
It’s important to know that miscarriages are common early on in a pregnancy. According to March of Dimes, they can happen for any number of reasons before the 12th week up to the 20th, and a majority of the time is beyond your control. For this reason, we suggest waiting to let many other people know until you are past this point. If you do have a miscarriage, don’t suffer silently. We want to help you through the grief and loss alongside your other support people, no matter when it happens.
All of our Iowa Pregnancy Resources Centers are full of great information and services for every stage and choice of pregnancy. To find a PRC near you, click below.
Most importantly we want you to know that there’s always someone who supports your pregnancy decision, even if your family or friends won’t.
Conversation Starters
Your local Pregnancy Resource Center will be able to help you find the right words to share your news with family and friends. Below you’ll find some examples they may provide of conversation starters and talking points you could try and cover when you have your talk.
Talking with Your Family
Approaching this conversation with honesty and openness is crucial. Your parents might need some time to process the news, so be patient and allow them the space to react and respond. Remember, their initial reactions might not reflect their long-term support, and, with time, they may become your biggest supporters in this situation.
- “Mom, Dad, there’s something important I need. to talk to you about. I know you might be surprised, and I am too. I just found out that I’m pregnant, and I really need your support and guidance right now.”
- “I’ve made a mistake, and I take full responsibility for it. I’m pregnant, and I want to face this situation with your support. I’m scared, but I also know that having you to talk to can make a world of difference“
- “I hope you know how much I love and respect both of you. It’s because of that love and respect that I need to tell you the truth. I’m pregnant. I need your advice, your love, and your support now more than ever.”
Talking with Your Boyfriend
Remember to be honest and prepare yourself for whatever his reaction may be. If you can, try to talk in a place you feel comfortable and he wouldn’t feel awkward or trapped.
- “I have something I want to tell you but I’m nervous about how you’ll react. Can we have an honest conversation and talk about it?”
- “Our relationship means a lot to me, and I don’t want to keep any secrets. I need to be honest with you about something. Can we talk?”
- “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, and I want you to know what’s been going on in my life. It’s a big deal, and I want you to be a part of the conversation.”
Talking Points
- The decision you’ve made to keep the pregnancy and the information you used to make the decision
- What resources are available to you and how to get started
- Support you need/want from them and asking what they are willing to provide
Where Are You in Your Pregnancy Journey?
Am I Pregnant?
A missed period doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pregnant. Before you start making major life decisions, let’s make sure they’re decisions you actually need to be worrying about.
Pregnancy Decisions
Discovering you are going to have a baby means there are decisions to make and we want to be sure you have all the information you need to make the best decision for you and your preborn baby.
Parenthood
Help doesn’t stop once your baby is born. There is support to help you with the blessing of parenthood, too. We’ll help you find resources from diapers to daycare.
For Him
As the man in the life of this young pregnant woman and preborn baby, you have an important role that needs support, too. We're here to help you find the information you need and help her, too.
Am I Pregnant?
A missed period doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pregnant. Before you start making major life decisions, let’s make sure they’re decisions you actually need to be worrying about.
Pregnancy Decisions
Discovering you are going to have a baby means there are decisions to make and we want to be sure you have all the information you need to make the best decision for you and your preborn baby.
Parenthood
Help doesn’t stop once your baby is born. There is support to help you with the blessing of parenthood, too. We’ll help you find resources from diapers to daycare.
For Him
As the man in the life of this young pregnant woman and preborn baby, you have an important role that needs support, too. We're here to help you find the information you need and help her, too.