SUPPORTING HER PREGNANCY

Information and resources to help guide men during pregnancy

Your Viewpoint Matters

She just came to you and said she’s pregnant. Your mind is probably spinning with “what-ifs” and questions but we want you to know this situation can be a good thing. If your viewpoints and beliefs are that you want to support her in the decision to keep the baby because you care about her, then we want you to know these resources are here to support you, too.

And Thankfully you won’t have to go far to find nonjudgmental answers and support – there are resources available all over Iowa that we can point you to. You are a big part of this circumstance and you probably aren’t sure how to approach this any more than she is. As the man in the life of this young woman and preborn baby, you have an important role and the opportunity to become a good father or male role model.

Your first step in the process is already happening – you’re taking the time to learn the truth and educate yourself. You’re getting all sides of scientific data and facts about both pregnancy and the damaging aftermath of abortion. Know that some of this may be hard for you to read through. If an abortion has already happened, there are resource websites listed to help you with the trauma and grief you may be feeling.

Because even men can be traumatized by abortion.

The information below is to encourage and support you while helping you find the right information and truth when it comes to this preborn baby. Not only will you feel more confident about all this but you’ll be able to better support this young mom-to-be and baby during this important time in all your lives.

Closeup of woman torso with ultrasound photo in front of abdomen showing what is inside.

Our goal is to help you through the process of understanding what’s next and support you in your role as the father of the preborn baby or simply as the mother’s father, grandfather, or brother.

What She’ll Experience

Besides a growing stomach, your mom-to-be will go through a few stages called trimesters. A Pregnancy Resource Center will give you lots of information but here are some things she could be and will experience during each:

First Trimester (Conception to 12 Weeks):

Strange food cravings
Morning sickness
More tired than normal
First visit with an obstetrician or OB

Will have an ultrasound to confirm pregnancy and see the stage of the baby’s development
Visits every month, should be quick unless health issues

Second Trimester (13 to 27 Weeks):

Morning sickness should go away by 16 weeks or 4th month
Start to feel baby move anywhere between 18 and 22 weeks
Still visiting OB every month
Ultrasound between 18 and 20 weeks to see if it’s a boy or girl
Between 24 and 28 weeks will be tested for gestational diabetes

Third Trimester (28 weeks to Birth):

Starts visiting OB every two weeks at 28 weeks, then weekly at 36 weeks
Could have “fake contractions” or Braxton Hicks throughout
Not recommended to travel far once the trimester starts
Normal to go past the due date (consider it more of a suggested date)

If you are able to go with her to a few appointments, you’ll be able to ask questions and get a better idea of how to support her in each part of her pregnancy.

Giving birth can be scary for some women but if you know what to expect and how you can help, you can make her feel more supported and take some of the pressure from the birthing process. One big way to show your support is by attending birthing (sometimes called Lamaze or prenatal) classes. These are available at most hospitals in Iowa and will give you a chance to learn from nurses, new parents, and doctors about the process of birth. Some may offer virtual options, including doulas. As the baby positions itself to get ready to greet the world, you’ll know how to help her relax, stay comfortable, and make important decisions as needed.

Woman sitting on bed with morning sickness

Smiling pregnant woman visiting with doctor.

Bottom Line: The more involved you can be, the more confident you’ll both feel.

How the Baby Develops

Before being born, a brand-new person gets 23 chromosomes from each parent. This makes them one of a kind, never to be exactly the same as anyone else. Weighing just 15 ten-millionths of a gram, the adventure of life starts!

Week 1

Conception, the baby is smaller than a grain of sugar, but the instructions are present for all that this person will ever become.

Week 2

The baby attaches and burrows securely into the wall of the mother’s womb.

Week 3

The baby’s blood vessels and sex cells form. Foundations for the brain, spinal cord, and nervous system are laid.

Week 4

The baby’s heart has begun to beat. Eyes, ears, and lungs begin to form.

Week 5

Tiny arms and legs begin to appear as well as the baby’s face. The baby’s blood is now separate from the mother’s blood.

Week 6

Tiny fingers and toes develop. The baby’s brain is developed into three parts—emotion and language, hearing, and seeing.

Week 7

Buds of the baby’s milk teeth appear. 99% of the muscles are present, and brain activity is detectable.

Week 8

The baby begins spontaneous movement and is now well proportioned, about the size of a thumb. Every organ is present but immature. The skull, elbows, and knees are forming.

Week 9

If prodded, hands and eyelids close. Genitalia becomes visible, indicating whether the baby is a boy or a girl. The muscular movement begins.

Week 10

The baby’s fingerprints begin to form. Nerve and muscle connections have tripled. Eyelids fuse together temporarily to protect the baby’s delicate developing eyes.

Week 11

The baby “practices” breathing and facial expressions, even smiling. The baby can also urinate, and stomach muscles contract.

Week 12

The baby is now 3 inches in length and weighs 2 ounces with fine hair on the face. The baby is able to swallow and feel and responds to skin stimulation.

Chart depicting each month of Fetal Development

Want to Learn More?

Visit our Education page to learn the whole experience.

Have Questions?

A Pregnancy Resource Center near you is able to answer all your questions, help with resources, and much more. Find one near you.

Truths about Abortion

If one or both of you are thinking of an abortion, we encourage you to know the facts before you go and ask them questions before anything is decided making a decision you’ll regret. Abortion is not the only choice and we want you to be fully informed about this permanently damaging decision because we care about you.

The trauma caused by abortion leaves emotional and mental scars and can be physically damaging to her. And if you’re here because of an abortion, know that you can and will also be scarred by it. Abortion kills all kinds, no matter the background, gender, or race. We believe it’s important that both women and men have all the facts because we care about your well-being and the well-being of the woman in your life.

Whether it’s a financial strain, health concern, or something else, we want you to know there’s support for every situation you may be facing. Visit our Pregnancy Decisions or Parenthood pages to learn more about resources and other options available to you.

No matter what your situation was growing up, you have the opportunity to change your destiny to positively impact the life of this child with your support of the mom-to-be in your life. Don’t let your family’s legacy, or simply yours, be broken by this damaging and permanent decision.

Woman having Honest Conversation with husband or boyfriend

Where Are You in Your Pregnancy Journey?

Am I Pregnant?

A missed period doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pregnant. Before you start making major life decisions, let’s make sure they’re decisions you actually need to be worrying about.

Pregnancy Decisions

Discovering you are going to have a baby means there are decisions to make and we want to be sure you have all the information you need to make the best decision for you and your preborn baby.

Parenthood

Help doesn’t stop once your baby is born. There is support to help you with the blessing of parenthood, too. We’ll help you find resources from diapers to daycare.

For Him

As the man in the life of this young pregnant woman and preborn baby, you have an important role that needs support, too. We're here to help you find the information you need and help her, too.